My heart won't let you go
by FeatherStayStrong
Summary: Several months have passed and Regina is finally able to cross the town line and look for her soulmate. Set after 4x11. Outlaw Queen family with some Snow Queen and Swan Queen friendship. Rated M for future chapters.


Even after finding the author's possible house, she can't find it in herself to feel just feels like it's useless now that Robin is gone and can't come back. Ever again.

That night she asks to be left alone. She promised Henry that she won't shut him out again; she just needs a moment for herself. Once she's alone, she breaks completely. Tears started falling out of her eyes like waterfalls. She went to her room and crashed into her bead, soaking her pillow. She couldn't stop the tears nor did she want to. She just wanted to cry and cry and cry.

After several minutes, her eyes were swollen. She stood up and went to the bathroom to wash her face. It was no help, honestly. Tears would slowly start falling again. She went to her bedside table and grabbed the picture of them and held it tight to her chest as she went out to her balcony. She starred to the sky wondering where he was, if he was okay, if he was thinking about her as much as she was about him.

_"__Robin… Will I ever see you again? How will I go on knowing you're out there? How can I go on when I can't stop thinking about your kisses, your hugs and your words? You chose me. And now-"_

Her heart hurt. So much. She cried once again. She went back to her bed, pressed their photo to her body as hard as she could, and, after a few more minutes of crying, she fell asleep. That night she dreamed about him. And the next night. And the next. And every night after that.

She thought that the first night without him would be the worst. She couldn't be more wrong. Every passing moment she yearned for his touch. With every passing day she missed him more. But she never showed that weakness. After all, she was Regina Mills. She would put a mask on and say _"I'm fine"_. And even if no one believed her, they never pushed her.

* * *

><p>Leaving her was not part of his plan. He wanted to spend his life with her. He can't begin to imagine life without her, but she was right about this. He had to do this. He couldn't abandon the mother of his child. He had to fight the urge to turn back and run to her embrace, several times. His heart hurt more with every step he took. <em>"You can't go back"<em>, he thought to himself.

After walking for a while, they found shelter in a little hotel just outside of Maine. They went to eat and met a friendly couple who was heading to New York the morning after. They talked a while and they told the couple how they're looking to start fresh. The couple offered them a ride with them and promised to help them settle because _"there's no better place to do that that in New York"_ they said. After giving it some thought, Robin accepted their offer.

It was getting very dark and cold, so they went to their room after finishing their meals. Roland was sound asleep right away and Marian would be the same few minutes after him. He couldn't sleep. How could he when he just said goodbye to the woman he loves? How could he, knowing he'll never see her again?

Since he couldn't sleep, he decided to go for a walk to try and clear his head a little. There was a little garden on the back of the hotel and as he walked he found a bench and sat on it for a while. As much as he tried to think about something other than her, like a plan for him and his family, he couldn't. He sighed and looked to the stars wondering how she was.

_"__How are you? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?"_ he started as if she could hear him. _"I love you so much Regina. I need you here, with me. I need your love. I miss you, your elusive but satisfying smile. I miss how your eyes shined every time we were together. I just miss you. These few hours without you feel like forever. How will I be able to go on without you by my side? I know I need to be strong, but God I just love you so-"_

He couldn't stop his tears from falling. He didn't want to stop them either. He let himself feel and cry. His heart was broken into a million pieces in seconds; he needed to cry. He spent a few more minutes on the bench, before heading back to his room. He let a few more tears slip from his eyes as he fell asleep. That night he dreamed about her. And the next night. And the next. And every night after that. Every day after that was not easier. It was the opposite to that.

* * *

><p><strong>3 MONTHS LATER<strong>

Emma kept her promise and helped her as much as she could._ "We will find him, Regina"_ she said to her once. But after 3 months, she was starting to give up. She may never see him again. She felt they've wasted their time trying to find a way out of Storybrooke without the risk of never been able to come back.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice when Emma and Henry entered her office.

_"__Mom!"_ Henry said louder for a second time as she snapped out of her thoughts. _"Are you alright?"_

_"__Yes. Sorry… what did you say?"_ she answered.

_"__We have news for you!"_ he said again.

Regina could hear the excitement on her son's voice but couldn't imagine a reason as to why. _"What is it?"_ she asked curious, looking at her son and the blonde standing beside him.

_"__I'd say you better start packing your stuff, Regina. We leave in two hours."_ Emma said with a big smile on her face.

_"__Leave? Have you lost your mind? We can't leave. You know that." _

_"__Oh, but we can. You heard Henry. We have some news… the good kind."_

Is it possible? Could they really leave Storybrooke without drastic consequences? Could she finally find Robin? She can't help doubting this idea though. She's tired of getting her hopes up to have them crushed all over again.

_"__Well? What are you waiting for? Tell me."_ she demanded.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's note: <strong>_

_This is my first attempt writing a fan-fiction. It will be my version of how they reunite in New York. Also, my attempt to cope with the finale we had. I hope you like this story. Review if you want and let me know what you think. ;)_

_This will be a multi-chapter, but I have no idea how many chapters will there be yet. I don't expect it to be very long, but who knows?_


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